ephant reviews stuff: The Room

2 May 2010 2:34 PM

When my best friend suggested that we watch The Room, I was one of the only people who had both heard about the movie and also not seen it. I suggested that we do something different but the people who had seen it before were enthusiastic, and the people who'd never heard of it were indifferent to my protestations.

I have seen terrible movies before. "It's so bad it's good" they told me about Plan 9 from outer space. They were wrong. It was so bad that it was just bad.

So I didn't intend to enjoy myself but right from the opening credits I was thoroughly entertained. The Room is so bad it's incredible. It's spectacularly terrible. Wonderfully awful.

Basically, as far as I can tell...

There's this guy, women treat him terribly and he is betrayed by everyone even though he is wonderful and talented and just an all-round awesome dude. So he makes a movie and that movie is The Room.

I could talk about the framed pictures of spoons, people asking questions they've just heard the answer to, the awful awful script and dreadful delivery, the way sub-plots are introduced and immediately abandoned... but I think what makes the movie so uncomfortable to watch is that Tommy Wiseau (Writer/Director/Producer/Executive Producer/Star (No I AM NOT SHITTING YOU ABOUT THAT) appears to be attempting (poorly) to portray "real" conversations and "real" sex (compared with "movie" conversations and "movie" sex).

My sister commented that it had always annoyed her, in films and tv, that people don't seem to say "hello" and "goodbye" like normal people. Particularly on the phone. THIS WILL NEVER ANNOY ME AGAIN.

Seeing The Room has made me appreciate filmmaking in a way no other film has. I feel like I have levelled-up in movie watching. I feel that my life has been divided into two parts. Everything before 25 April 2010 and everything after I saw The Room.

The Room is not a film to be watched, it is a film to be experienced. Get as many people together as possible, ideally a number of whom have seen the movie already and can prompt the crowd to the appropriate mockery. Bring spoons.

Score: -5/5 or possibly 5/5 I can't even tell.